糖果2006

Once upon a time, there was Candy and Dan.
Things were very hot that year.
All the wax was melting in the trees.
He would climb balconies, climb everywhere, do anything for her...
oh Danny boy....
Thousands of birds, the tiniest birds, adorned her hair.
Everything was gold.
One night the bed caught fire.
He was handsome and a very good criminal.
We lived on sunlight and chocolate bars.
It was the afternoon of extravagant delight.
Danny the daredevil.
Candy went missing.
The days last rays of sunshine cruise like sharks.
I want to try it your way this time.
You came into my life really fast and I liked it.
We squelched in the mud of our joy.
I was wet-thighed with surrender.

Then there was a gap in things and the whole earth tilted.
This is the business.
This, is what we're after.
With you inside me comes the hatch of death.
And perhaps I'll simply never sleep again.
The monster in the pool.
We are a proper family now with cats and chickens and runner beans.
Everywhere I looked.
And sometimes I hate you.
Friday -- I didn't mean that, mother of the blueness.
Angel of the storm.
Remember me in my opaqueness.
You pointed at the sky, that one called Sirius or dog star, but on here on earth.
Fly away sun.
Ha ha ha you are so funny Dan.
A vase of flowers by the bed.
My bare blue knees at dawn.
These ruffled sheets and you are gone and I am going too.
 I broke your head on the back of the bed but the baby he died in the morning.
I gave him a name.
His name was thomas.
Poor little god.
His heart pounds like a voodoo drum."


那些回忆 变成美妙的词语
变成五彩的文字出现在那个乱七八糟的家
Dan奋力的擦 却始终抹不去他们的痕迹

到那时我才发现candy确实是艺术家

Once upon a time, there was Candy and Dan.
Things were very hot that year.
All the wax was melting in the trees.
He would climb balconies, climb everywhere, do anything for her,
oh Danny boy.
Thousands of birds,
the tiniest birds, adorned her hair.
Everything was gold.

One night the bed caught fire.
He was handsome and a very good criminal.
We lived on sunlight and chocolate bars.
It was the afternoon of extravagant delight.

Danny the daredevil.

Candy went missing.

The days last rays of sunshine cruise like sharks.
I want to try it your way this time.
You came into my life really fast and I liked it.
We squelched in the mud of our joy.
I was wet-thighed with surrender.

Then there was a gap in things and the whole earth tilted.
This is the business. This, is what we’re after.
With you inside me comes the hatch of death.
And perhaps I’ll simply never sleep again.
The monster in the pool.
We are a proper family now with cats and chickens and runner beans.
Everywhere I looked.
And sometimes I hate you.

Friday — I didn’t mean that, mother of the blueness. Angel of the storm.
Remember me in my opaqueness.
You pointed at the sky, that one called Sirius or dog star, but on here on earth.
Fly away sun.
Ha ha fucking ha you are so funny Dan.
A vase of flowers by the bed. My bare blue knees at dawn.
These ruffled sheets and you are gone and I am going too.
I broke your head on the back of the bed but the baby he died in the morning.
I gave him a name.
His name was thomas.
Poor little god. His heart pounds like a voodoo drum.

- Candy





from tumblr

一部描述糖果这个感觉的电影. 两个主角的精神状态非常多变.在自信，美丽，到放纵，虚弱，崩溃，无奈.角色的塑造上大起大落
镜头时而将他们拍得很美丽，梦幻，时而又如猜火车般的堕落，肮脏.而且，如果你把它当作纪录毒品人生的电影那你就错了。它的高明之处就是，明明没有很多的故事情节，多余角色，但多愁善感的配乐将它烘托成了一个带有悲剧色彩的故事片.看完后你会觉得被它的配乐把魂魄给带走了。
糖果这个意象，就这样不知不觉地暗示出来了。以往的毒品电影，嬉皮年代也好现金也好，意象往往是psychedelic的纸醉金迷.而这是一部缠绕在爱情上面的毒品电影.于是糖果成了这种缠绕的象征。

糖真的是一样很立体的东西.明明是一样味觉物品，不过我们更多于用视觉来评价它,甚至用幻觉来美化它.糖对于我的意象太深了，它绝对是五光十色的，而且不是牙买加，或者hippies的那种colourful,在我心里，它比较像那种在阳光底下晶莹通透的一串珠珠.反正它不仅仅是CHO组成的简单分子，也决不可能是直接可以反映出的感受.


http://www.wretch.cc/blog/colleen46&article_id=9752452

「The future or the thing that gleamed. The present was so very, very good. I wasn't trying to wreck Candy's life. I was trying to make mine better. We wanted to share absolutely everything. Especially the best bits.」


「Here is the deepest secret that nobody knows. Here is the root of the root, and the bud of the bud, and the sky of the sky,in the tree called life, which grows higher than soul can hope, or mind can hide, and this is the one that is keeping the stars apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart. 」


「We'd found the secret glue that held all things together in a perfect place where the noise did not intrude. Our world was so very complete.」


「Everything we ever did. we did with the best of intentions, but events tumble! And the years pile up.The world is very bewildering to a junkie.」


「What do you think this is about? Sunday Lunch. It's a pretty simple thing. But with you two, there's no such thing as simple. It‘s the drugs! The drugs always come first. Do you have any idea what you have done to my family? To me? What happened to that beautiful little girl?」


「Once upon a time, there was Candy and Dan. Things were very hot that year. All the wax was melting in the trees. He would climb balconies, climb everywhere, do anything for her, oh Danny boy. Thousands of birds, the tiniest birds, adorned her hair. Everything was gold. One night the bed caught fire. He was handsome and a very good criminal. We lived on sunlight and chocolate bars. It was the afternoon of extravagant delight. Danny the daredevil. Candy went missing. The days last rays of sunshine cruise like sharks. I want to try it your way this time. You came into my life really fast and I liked it. We squelched in the mud of our joy. I was wet-thighed with surrender. Then there was a gap in things and the whole earth tilted. This is the business. This, is what we're after. With you inside me comes the hatch of death. And perhaps I'll simply never sleep again. The monster in the pool. We are a proper family now with cats and chickens and runner beans. Everywhere I looked. And sometimes I hate you. Friday -- I didn't mean that, mother of the blueness. Angel of the storm. Remember me in my opaqueness. You pointed at the sky, that one called Sirius or dog star, but on here on earth. Fly away sun. Ha ha fucking ha you are so funny Dan. A vase of flowers by the bed. My bare blue knees at dawn. These ruffled sheets and you are gone and I am going too. I broke your head on the back of the bed but the baby he died in the morning. I gave him a name. His name was Thomas. Poor little god. His heart pounds like a voodoo drum.」



「Everything's dead. Everything's turning blue.」


「And that was it. That was all that was scattered to the winds. Casper was gone. Schumann was lost. Candy was off getting better. The coast. Rehab. And I...was. I was just... The world was full of startling new concepts. I couldn't think.I couldn't breathe. I was waiting for her to come back. Because she was everything. She was everything to me. 」


「There's no going back. If you're given a reprieve, I think it is good to remember just how thin it is.」


「When you can stop, you don't want to. When you want to stop, you can't.」

电影的开始有一个熟悉的场景，Heath Ledger饰演的Dan带着他爱的女孩Candy走进了游乐场的转轮，两个成年人在一群孩子中间十分的抢眼，而Geoffrey Rush饰演的Casper站在转轮之上微笑的注视着他们，转轮开始旋转，一开始很慢，Dan和Candy笑着，紧紧的相牵，转轮越转越快，像一张流出歌声的唱片，Dan亲吻着Candy，旋转的世界里，仿佛只剩下了他们两个。

我看电影的时候总会走神，恍惚中仿佛时光重现，眼前的影像开始变得黑白，很多年前那个叫安东的巴黎少年，他聪明漂亮敏感，可是他的父亲离开了他，他的母亲和另外的男人混迹在一起，他在学校嘲弄老师，他和唯一的好友一起逃课，他在游乐场进入了那个转轮，越转越快，他笑着，好像他是静止的，整个世界都在围绕着他旋转。

Candy也许真的是有双重的含义，她是他爱上的女孩，她是让他们两个人一起沉沦的海洛因。他们的爱情一开始就是和海洛因连在一起，Candy吸毒过量，而Dan用另一针的海洛因让她醒了过来。Candy有一个丰裕的家庭，只是过分溺爱她的父亲，控制欲超强的母亲，把她所有的天赋梦想和虚无盲目的爱情埋葬在海洛因的幻境里；Dan的家庭没有提及，而Casper则像是他精神上的父亲，他盲目的相信他的一切，甚至带着Candy和他一起注射高浓度的吗啡，那大概是他们第一次的毒品体验，然后他们就再也离不开这种Candy了；Casper是个有身份的医生，却也是一个暗地的毒品贩子，他利用吗啡招来来他家里和他乱搞的男孩们，也和他们一起陷入其中，他对Dan有着特殊的感情，从他看他的眼神中就能够感觉得到，最后在眼睁睁看着Dan和Candy进入绝境之后，他平静的overdose反倒像是一次解脱般的自杀。

就这样看着他们chase the dragon，从最开始那虚幻的Heaven一步步开始下坠，到Earth，最终来到Hell。或者痛苦，或者享受，或者无法自拔，那种挣扎撕心裂肺，而宿名都像是被安排好了。也许drugs真的能激发那些艺术灵感，那些让我们沉溺的音乐、画作都是极度眩晕之后的产物，可是他们到底得到了什么，快乐还有折磨？只是这其实也许就是生活的真相。

电影的高潮在Candy写在墙上写满房间里的那个疯狂的真实的故事里，我突然想到我在焦躁的时候也会抓起笔写每个在脑海里出现的无规则的词语、句子，那种感情很真实，同样也很绝望。所以后来Dan含着泪拒绝了Candy，两个Candy是一体的，纵使他有着多么爱她，这爱的化学反应却让他永远也戒不掉另一个Candy。爱的瘾，drug的瘾，快乐的瘾，折磨的瘾，to be addicted or not，还有什么区别？

Note：澳大利亚的独立电影，根据Luke Davies的小说改编，参选了今年的柏林电影节和多伦多国际电影节，Heath Ledger和Abbie Cornish很真实的饰演了一对junkie lovers，而Geoffrey Rush的角色更是对他的毒瘾有着哲学上的解释，更有评论说Abbie Cornish会是下一个Nicole Kidman和Naomi Watts。D版商们翻译的名字是“爱情毒针”，还不错，只是每一个无法摆脱的诱惑，都是毒针。

Something about There's No Going Back
  去年暑假温习了一遍《梦之安魂曲》，看到有介绍关于毒品的电影，有一部是澳大利亚的电影，叫糖果。完全被那一幅merry go round 的海报所吸引，但怎么找都无果，十一假期又找了一回，寒假又找了好几次，五月份的时候一位豆友给我发了，可惜格式不对只看了前七分钟，打算在亚马逊上买原著的我在昨天生日的时候歪打正着下载了整部电影，也算是最好的礼物了。
 其实全片让我感觉最失望的是heaven太短，并没有极力渲染出两个人在毒品的欢愉中交织的太多美好，反倒是他们的争吵，嘶吼，叫喊有太多篇幅 ，不过也还恰到好处，尤其是candy抱怨电视声音，屋里光线，甚至圆珠笔划报纸的声音影响她睡觉的镜头，简直太真实。电影对于毒瘾发作的描摹更是一大亮点，candy怀孕后，二人决定戒毒，靠着Dan骗来的几千元，他们终于像每一对正常的夫妇，去大超市买果酱和饼干，搬进装有固定电话的公寓，躺上了铺有白色床单的twinbed，可惜一切关于戒毒的事都太难，密不透风的室内投射进苍白的阳光，床头的垃圾越攒越多，两个人因为全身难耐而痛苦的摩擦着，床单脏了，他们撒上爽身粉遮掩，直到有一天Candy实在忍不住拨打了她所谓的求助电话，在和Dan的撕打中流产了，这一切都是那么真实。
 之后的hell，他们回到了乡村，也许是孩子的早夭让他们的关系凝重起来，靠着每天喝美沙酮，他们还算活得清醒，没有了争吵，却只是皱着眉头的妥协，生活到了这里，再去追随那时的快乐简直是奢望，candy认识了新的朋友，他们也会一起嗑药，一起大笑，但当Dan问起candy是否和他上床时，正在作画Candy却好似疯了一般恨Dan，她开始用所有色彩鲜艳的化妆品在墙上写诗，那些颜色如糖果，本是生命的注解，如今却在墙壁上密密麻麻的排满了，倾吐着常人无法到达的忧乐。瘾君子的世界是扑朔迷离的，但当故事支离破碎成一首诗，我不得不承认candy是位伟大的艺术家，一句句无厘头的话，如一剂剂爱情毒针，不偏不倚的刺中了Dan的心脏，他又去找了Casper，而candy却因神经衰弱被送进了医院，出院后，Dan在打工的餐馆里和着阳光和苏打水结束了一切，cause there's no going back.
 对于结局，我起初觉得有些突兀，Dan以他们早夭孩子为理由拒绝了candy，独自坐在房中，但我们不妨大胆设想一下他真正的想法，如果Dan此时还没戒掉毒瘾，那candy父亲在医院的那句话一定让他想了很多，老人家只在乎她的女儿，而把他女儿搞得人不像人鬼不像鬼的，正是Dan，经过了长时间的冷静，Dan决定离开candy，让她继续自己的生活，一个不再被毒品牵制的生活，做回那个金发天使，那个完美的画家，忘掉一切，别被自己一直拖累。
但如果Dan也已戒掉毒瘾，他和Candy一样成了正常人，那现在就没有什么理由拒绝了啊，为什么要选择自己离开呢，我大胆认为，也许一开始，他们的爱情就是基于毒品之上的，又或者，根本没有爱情，首先，他们会ml，但是是在嗑药之后，他们会整天呆在一起，但是是在两人筹集毒资或是一起吸毒时，要找到一点点爱情的踪迹，还只是在heaven部分。还记得那个乡村的邻居吗，他和candy一起嗑药时，那种兴奋，快乐，与candy和Dan在一起时并没有什么不同，没有什么不可替代，只不过是两人在对方生命中有一个比较重要的角色罢了，一个糅杂了青春，毒品，迷幻，艺术，肉体，阳光，刺激等等于一体的角色，抑或是生命中一个重要的时期，那段有毒品，有糖果作伴的时期，片中那个milkman正是原著的作者Luke Davies，我在维基上查了他的故事，他是个澳大利亚著名的电视编剧，导演，他曾在八几年的时候沾染毒瘾，大抵来讲，他以他为原型写了这本书，也是为了祭奠自己一去不返的迷幻青春和曾经中过的毒，Dan对Candy说there's no going back.又何尝不是对自己的过去说再见？也许真正致幻的是他们的关系，真正有毒的是他们这种危险的感情
 街边的阳光照了进来，澳大利亚的天气真好啊，Dan饮下一杯不似之前绿色sodapop的纯净水，看着candy离去，独自坐在中餐馆，窗外一切都被隔绝了，这是电影的结束，小说的结束，那么大概也是生活真正的开始。